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I Defy The Boxes-Jen S

April 18, 2011

(Listen to the song or this post wont make any sense, well even if you listen to it this post still might not make sense, but listen to it anyways!)

I defy the boxes.

I’m sick.

And I’m tired.

And somehow I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Well I wouldn’t mind not being sick….but it kind of comes with the territory of staying up too late, getting up too early and sometimes skipping meals.

7-9 I wake up bike to school, finish my homework

9-3 I am at school

3-? I am tecing, sometimes as late as 10, usually until around 6:30

Then I bike home, watch television, do home work and eventually sleep.

And then the cycle continues.

And somehow I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I don’t think I am the only one. This three-moth period of the year, April, May and June (or as our teachers refer to it “Aprilmayjune”) is jammed with field trips, projects, presentation and special events. The time seems to just slip by. We have the adventure trip May 19th till May 23rd, In-depth night on May 30th, science projects due sometime soonish, leadership projects, cultural events, biking practice trips. Then everyone also has life to live, family commitments, piano, dance, soccer, rugby, the list goes on. And then of course we all have this dream of a social life…

So why do we do it?

I do it to defy the boxes, to avoid at all costs being “normal”, while in our teenage years we are supposed to try and fit in, I have always felt like an outsider. Everyone has or does, but the thing is, I was proud of it. Society, and me, well we don’t get along too well. I used to question the bases of what our society is built on, the things that make us “human”. But now I don’t, or at least not as much. Now I find myself in an odd position, for once I have friends who I know enjoy my company, I no longer feel like the fat kid who can never get anything right. That need to set my self apart lessens. But I still fear being “normal”. So that is why some nights I go to bed at 2am and wake up at 6:30am. Why I somehow enjoy doing endless work in the theater. I fear that if I stop, I will drift away, and spend all my time watching TV. I am afraid that I would blend in, disappear and I never want that to happen. So I argue religion (from the atheist side), I stay at school until unearthly hours and push my self to get good grades.  I exist in a state of insanity to defy the boxes, even though I know that without the boxes society would crumble.

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